Johnny's Hammy Christmas

Poor Johnny. Such a sickly man. We always see him lie like a veggie on Christmas days. We really do not know what’s up with him. The old man says it’s a curse. I don’t know. No one puts a curse on Christmas. Doctors can explain anyway. He gets the worst fever and the worst tonsillitis ever on Christmas day. He can barely talk, and sing. He’s a choir man by the way. And we think he’s the most frustrated man ever on such a jolly day. It’s supposed to be the time for them to go out and sing carols. Unfortunately, he could not be one of them… always. We heard the choir leader say, “broken chords again, Johnny? They say it’s the vocal chord. I don’t know what it looks like. But Jovan says it’s one that you use when you sing. Well, Johnny’s a good singer. I didn’t know he needed to plug something to have a good voice.

We always see him turn away and go back home when he hears his friends sing Christmas hymns. I bet he really couldn’t take it. We get worried sometimes…only less, though. Unlike his mom. She keeps running from one doctor to another. But she’s already had a word with all the doctor’s in town. “Give him a rest” “Rest!” “Take a rest” “it’s just rest” “Rest.” “Rest.” “Rest.” That’s what they say. So she went to another doctor in a nearby town.

Her mom’s a good person. We always get a ball of ham from her on Christmas. She said Johnny always asks for ham and so she buys a lot. But Johnny does not like ham. He told me ones about this. Hams taste good because they come from human flesh. And Victor Frankenstein made them to earn money on Christmas. But my mom said that the blue fairy took all the bad hams on earth and changed them into real meat hams. So, I didn’t believe him.

But they always have a lot of them (hams) on Christmas. From time to time we hear Johnny bail. And then we see her mom go out. “He’s asking for a new one (ham). Maybe a different brand,” she tells my mom. I don’t understand.
Then there goes Johnny again. “ Hahm…they told me hahm, hahm, huhm, hahm, hahm…,” sounding like an ogre. And there goes her mom again. “His friends say it’s the cure…ham…,” she told my mom. But Johnny never eats them. And so they end up giving them away.

I thought Johnny was only trying to sing. Don’t know, don’t care. At least it’s a hammy Christmas.